Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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