Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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