So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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