Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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