Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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