It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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