Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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