I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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