I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
