Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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