I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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