Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
