i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
