White coat. Heels.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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