I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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