Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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