There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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