So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
