Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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