talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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