yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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