They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think my tv is drunk
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm at about main and main street
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
