All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
