I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
