she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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