He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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