love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
