I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
