She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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