"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
