You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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