Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Randomize
