DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I love having hate sex.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
