btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize