I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
A+ Viking dick
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