Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize