a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
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