He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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