You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
