Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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