I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
