obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
