i was born a porn star she said
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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