Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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