You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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