you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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