He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
