Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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