Pants 0. Shit 1.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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