I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
