Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize