is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
