So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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