Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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