You work out of a Hotel?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
