Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just google imaged poop.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
