No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
