she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
